tacky hat, originally uploaded by i am superjen.

ok, so let me start out by telling a little about my family here. If you mention around any of us that you are cleaning out your closet, or have junk to get rid of, we’ll pounce. We will take a big bag of whatever you come up with, take out what we want and pass it along. Bags like that get passed between, no lie, sometimes 4 families before whatever is left (or has been added along the way) gets dropped off at the thrift store. So I see my fair share of weird junk.

But this hat takes the cake. It’s orange velour.
It’s a trucker hat.
It says Mrs. Kutcher.
Was it made before he married Demi, and the wearer was wishing to marry Ashton? I think he was totally cute in Dude, where’s my car? but c’mon.  Or – scarier- was it made after he got married and the wearer doesn’t care that it implies they want to be Demi Moore?

JB didn’t get it, and thought an actual Mrs. Kutcher owned the hat, and it was her work hat.  And she had an orange velour shirt to match.  (Ok, wait, now I want an orange velour work shirt with my name on it.  With a polo-shirt type collar, but instead of buttons on the front it’s a zipper.  I think I had one like that in the 70’s, with a rainbow on it but without my name.  But anyway, back to the hat -)

What kills me, is that this hat even exists. Somebody had the idea, it went through I bet at least two rounds of proofs and sign-offs (green? no, better make it orange. Orange is hot this year) before somebody mass-produced it. Then a store buyer picked up however many, and then, God help us all, someone bought it.
Here’s my dilemma – do I (A) donate it, knowing it will languish on the shelves of the thrift store only to end up either thrown out or in some hipster’s dorm room, or (B) just throw the dumb thing out already, and do the world a favor?